Broken

It is almost December and in our home the preparations for celebrating the birth of our Savior have begun with decorating. I do love decorating during special seasons of the year, but in all honesty I can't take too much clutter for too long. As I pull out the boxes of decorations each year for Christmas I tend to pick and choose what I want to use that year. And then pack away or part with the rest. Of course there are those special decorations that I hope to keep and display every year. Little did I know that this year, I would not have to choose anything to purge, instead, several decorations would break, unrepairable, making it easier to part with them.

It began with the ornaments. My daughter, nearly three, was a great help with the task of decorating the tree this year. It was a sweet time together, as her little brother napped, for us to listen to Christmas music and for me to teach her how to hang the ornaments. We were not too far into decorating when I heard the first shatter... it was a glass ball my husband and I had bought on a special trip around the time of our first wedding anniversary. “Oh no!” my voice rang as I turned to see the shattered ball and pick up the pieces. As I held them in my hand I couldn't think of how it would be possible to piece it back together. It was so broken. I even had a flashback of one Christmas as a child when our tree fell over and my mom lost so many of her special ornaments. I can still see her crying beneath the tree as she gathered the pieces of a collection from many years of sweet memories. I haven't collected many sweet ornaments handcrafted by my children's little hands yet, but O how I can imagine her heartache that day. I'm only a few years into being a mommy, so we are still dealing mostly with glittery balls and plastic snowflakes... nothing serious yet. “It's just an ornament.” I reminded myself. And turned to my daughter assuring her it was an accident and no big deal. Then I tossed it.

And, yes, as the day went on there were a couple more ornaments and a beautiful angel with broken wings whose fate was the same. There was also a small tree in a clay pot that bit the dust while I was away and the kids were playing with dad. In retrospect, it really was in a bad, unrealistic location with two sets of feet always swiftly running by the table I sat it on. When I came home Ken had laid it with the rest of our collection of broken decorations on the kitchen counter. We had quite an impressive collection! He had pieced it and the others back together with glue while I was gone. It was his sweet way of trying to fix it and I really appreciated his love and thoughtfulness in that. But when we examined the finished product together... we laughed! It was comical that way the cracks and imperfections were so visible with glue seeping through. Although I cherished his attempt, it too was beyond repair.

And so, as I sit staring at the collection of broken things on my kitchen counter with their cracks and flimsy attempts to be made whole again it is all too clear what God is teaching me in this moment. I was broken. A mess. In need of a Savior. Needing to be pieced back together. Needing forgiveness and restoration.

And there was Jesus.

Christmas is not about pretty decorations or stressing myself over buying the perfect gifts. Decorations and gifts aren't bad, but should simply add to the season. Instead, Christmas is about the gift God gave us when Christ was born. The gift of a Savior. God sent his son, Jesus, into a broken world, to a broken people so that we could receive the gift of forgiveness, be made whole by Him and in Him and be able to fellowship with God both now and for eternity.

Zacchaeus, a chief tax collector and wealthy man, was curious about Jesus. He quickly came down from a tree (that he climbed hoping to see Jesus) when the Lord called out to him, by name, and he gladly welcomed the Lord into his home. He knew he was broken, sin in his life, and so he joyfully opened his home to the Lord because he knew who Jesus was. He knew Jesus loved him despite his sin and he knew he was the Messiah. And because he knew he was the Savior, he received him to lodge not only in his house but also in his heart. And it is in this story, that Jesus tells his purpose in coming into a broken world:

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.” Luke 19:10

Broken... that was me before I came to know the love of Christ. Just like trying to piece my silly little decorations back together I can exhaust all efforts in trying to put myself back together. None will do justice. In fact, I sometimes laugh at how pitiful it turns out when I try to do it on my own. Instead, I can bow before a Savior who heals brokenness in the most complete way... leaving no staggering edges or cracked seams, but wholly fills me and washes away all sin and blemish. I am blameless, spotless in the eyes of my Savior. That is his work in me, not my own. And I pray my focus during Christmas will be to bow before, adore and praise the Son of Man who came to seek and save me... and you.

I love the words to this song. It is the cry of my heart this Christmas season.

O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining, 


It is the night of the dear Savior's birth. 


Long lay the world in sin and error pining. 


Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.


A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, 
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. 


Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! 


O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

Truly He taught us to love one another, 


His law is love and His gospel is peace. 


Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. 


And in his name all oppression shall cease. 


Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, 


Let all within us praise His holy name. 


Christ is the Lord! O Praise His name forever.


His power and glory ever more proclaim!