Applying Proverbs

We are almost half way through our journey in Proverbs this month!  I am amazed at the new treasures I find each day!  It is always applicable!  I hope you are staying on track and being blessed and filled with great truth.  If you have missed a day or two or three... there is grace in that!  Just pick up where you left off and move forward.  God has something for you.

The past few days my attention has been drawn to verses that can help me in my mothering.  These are verses I need to apply to my own life, model before my family and others, and teach to my children.  I wanted to share with you these verses and encourage you to incorporate them into your training and disciplining. Did you notice how many times Proverbs reminds us, "Listen carefully, pay attention, keep my words, keep my commands, gain understanding, etc."?  I especially love reminders to never let love and faithfulness leave us... to "bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."  Oh, this is a prayer of mine!  And another great cry of my heart is that the Lord's word would be hidden so deeply within my heart... but also in the hearts of my children.  At the core, this is where LIFE is found... in trusting Christ as Savior, following him and living a life of obedience because we have been compelled by His great love!  I have listed several verses to share, as well as a few tips that can help us remember, think more on and hopefully memorize these great nuggets of wisdom:

Proverbs 12:18
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Application: Teaching ourselves and our children to be gentle in how we speak to one another; to avoid raising our voices, yelling or using hurtful words.

Proverbs 12:22
"The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful."
Application:  God loves when we tell the truth!  This is a reminder for us to always speak the truth.

Proverbs 13:3
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin."
Application:  Similar to Proverbs 12:18; However I love how my study Bible expanded on it:
"You have not mastered self-control if you do not control what you say.  Words can cut and destroy.  James recognized this truth when he said, 'The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts' (James 3:5). If you want to be self-controlled, begin with your tongue.  Stop and think before you react or speak.  If you can control this small but powerful member, you can control the rest of your body."

Proverbs 14:12
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."
Application:  I take this verse as quite honestly reminding me that my ways are not his ways... my ways are most naturally from my flesh... Sometimes I roll my eyes instead of practicing self-control and I also take short cuts in chores sometimes because I'm being lazy.  The right choice often requires self-sacrifice and even hard work.  This is a good way to lead into sharing how we need to walk in the Spirit!  Turn ahead to Galatians 5:16-26 and share the ways walking by the Spirit is contrary to gratifying the desires of the sinful nature.

Proverbs 14:17
"A quick tempered man does foolish things."
Application: Anger

Proverbs 15: 1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Application:  I think this one speaks for itself.... replacing anger with gentleness.

1.  Look at multiple translations of a verse you are wanting to learn with your children.  Better yet, read it in a Study Bible!

I usually read out of my New International Version (NIV) Bible & Study Bible, but also like looking at the English Standard Version (ESV).  A great paraphrase of Scripture in modern day language is The Message Bible.  I always enjoy re-reading verses in this translation.  Sometimes it helps me to understand them better and in turn will help me to explain them better to my children.


2.  Place the scripture you want to remember and bring into your parenting all around your house.

I started this in college.  It began on small notecards displayed along the edges of my mirror in my room. When I got married, I began to hang them throughout the house.  You can get as creative as color coding words in fancy handwriting and putting them on colorful paper with scrapbooking backgrounds OR you can just write it on a strip of paper with a magic marker!  Hang them on your mirrors, your refrigerator, tape it to the wall, or put it on your nightstand.  The possibilities are endless!  I like to change them every so often, but always keep my cards so that I can always pull them back out.

3.  Make a habit of reading the verses (maybe even aloud) as you see them throughout your home.

Before opening the fridge, pause and read the verse in front of you.  Maybe even ask your children to repeat after you as you read it and then talk about it.  I try to remember to not only talk about scripture just when I'm disciplining my children.  Talk through it with them like it tells us in Deuteronomy (5:4-9) as you sit at home, walk along the road (or ride in the car), at bedtime, meal time as a family, and when you wake in the morning.  Prepare them for how the verse is applicable by talking through scenarios or role playing how it looks to live it out:  For example, Romans 12:10 tells us to, "honor one another above yourself (Romans 12:10)".  I may have a conversation with my oldest about how she can honor her little brother above herself when he wants to play with a toy that she has.  She can choose to give it to him rather than keeping it for herself. Or when they are both wanting to sing a song for me or say the mealtime prayer, she can tell her little brother to go ahead and sing or pray first.  This is humility and honor.

4.  Pray Scripture for your children.

For example, if your child is struggling with telling the truth, pray Proverbs 12:22 for them.  It can be a prayer as simple as:  "Lord, you delight in truth!  I pray that my child would also delight in truth and only speak truth.  Help ______ to guard her lips from speaking lies."

~I would really love to hear any other ideas you have for us as we continue to read through Proverbs.  Also, please share any verses that you want to specifically use in your parenting.  I would love to hear how God is speaking to you!~

October Challenge

October has 31 days and there are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs... Join me in committing to reading one chapter of Proverbs a day for the month of October.  

I've done this a couple times before, both alone and with Ken.  If you can read it with your husband that is great but even to sit alone and think on the wisdom it offers is worth the time.  It is an amazing source of godly wisdom... living and active, applying to you and me today! It is great for all believers, especially for moms and dads as you are daily instructing and training your children in the Lord, really good for us women who tend to have trouble controlling our tongues (which has the power of life and death... sobering stuff) and maybe even nagging our husbands to the point of torture... also, money, pride, the ways of a fool, speaking truth, envy, being gentle, and forgiveness to name only a few treasures.  The last time I did this was in March.  I kept a journal and took notes daily as I read.  It can take as little as 5 minutes or much more depending on how much time you want to spend in there.  

Here is a cool personal testimony as to why I encourage you to do this: 

On Monday, March 5 we found out we had lost our baby.  That same day I was two days behind on reading from the weekend and caught up reading chapters 3-5 that morning before going to the doctor.  When I got home after having what felt like the wind knocked out of me, I had to lay down and take a few minutes to process the news.  It was then I felt the Lord prompting me to choose:  to fall into a pit of great despair and sadness (which I felt myself sinking into) or to CHOOSE to trust him.  He was not telling me don't grieve, but he was asking me to let him carry me.  He was asking for me to step out and trust him in a moment when I had no control of the outcome.  He wanted me to step into rough waters, be willing to trust him wherever he might lead me.  He wanted me to ultimately find my rest in him alone. 


I knew what he was asking of me.  But I really wanted to just do it my way.  It was then he told me to get my Bible.  He lead me back to what I had read earlier that morning and so straight to Proverbs 3:5 I went (notice the date was also 3-5-13).  It reads, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  To be honest when I read it that morning my attitude was wrong toward that verse.  I actually thought, "yea, yea I know that verse... I've heard that before... I want something new."  But then God brought me back to it and shined a new light on what it really meant to trust him when I did not understand, when I did not have control, when my faith was failing and my heart questioning him.  It was a time of awakening for me.  It was in that moment I decided to trust God even though I was grieved terribly and did not understand why this had happened.  As much as it meant giving up my way, it was an easy choice because I knew after all he had done for me I could not keep from giving him all of me.  It's really amazing to me how even when we don't understand our circumstances we can still choose Him and trust Him!  And now, looking back, I am sure that because of going through a miscarriage and making the choice to trust him I experienced the sweetest time I have ever had with the Lord.  

It was surely no coincidence I read that verse on that day and the date coincided with the verse he took me to.  The Lord has those same kind of treasures for you to find in His word if only we will chose daily to sit at his feet, dig into his word and listen.  

You have about a week to psyche yourself up for this challenge!  Hope you will! 

The Full Extent of Love

My daughter has been a little manic over wearing shoes lately. As soon as she wakes up she puts on a pair... even before bed she picks out a pair to wear until right before we tuck her in. She is shoe crazy! It's cute to see her prance around in a different pair every hour through the day. We laugh watching her go from ballerina to cowgirl to school girl with her rain boots on. It was real sweet... until the stinch began. Playing together in the evening, Ken always sniffs the kid's feet to kiddingly say “shew wee”, but this time it wasn't a joke. They really did stink! My husband and I started noticing a pattern of her feet being a bit stinkier than usual. Then, it hit me... she is prancing around the house all day in shoes and not wearing socks! New rule: Must wear socks with shoes. This hasn't slowed down her shoe shuffle a bit. She just knows now to put some socks on first.

So I was thinking today while the kids were napping about love... it is Valentine's Day after all! We've had fun this week making sweet treats and homemade Valentines for our loved ones but I have especially had fun talking about who love is. God is love (1 John 4:8). Love is not simply an attribute of God's character... it IS God. And I love sharing that with my little ones. I started thinking about the ways God shows His love and the first story that came to mind was the story of Jesus washing his disciples' feet before the Passover Feast (John 13). I remembered that the Bible says this is how Jesus showed them the "full extent of his love". I love how he is intentional in all he does... nothing lacks in purpose. It's a beautiful picture of how Christ has washed us of all our sin through the finished work of the cross! It also demonstrates Christ's humility as a servant even to the point of death, death on a cross. It is an example he was setting for us...

“You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet.... no servant is greater than his master.” John 13: 14,16a

Think about washing someone's feet... not the cute, sweet, little feet of your babies. Even though my daughter's feet were every bit of stinky, it was effortless and without second thought that I washed them and, truthfully, I'd probably even kiss them! Think instead of grown men's feet, dusty and dirty. Peter protested, “You shall never wash my feet (vs. 8).”  Seeing his Master behave like a slave must have confused Peter. But I love the answer Jesus gives, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”  What a heavy statement. Unless we are washed by the blood of Christ we can have no part, no fellowship with Him.  Jesus was the ultimate servant.  So much of our society tells us to be proud, to build up yourself, make life about you and what you want, what you deserve, after all we've worked so hard it is owed to us, right? It was even the “Word on the Street” on Sesame Street one morning... I turned that off quick. Pride is destructive.

Proverbs 16:18 says, “First pride, then the crash- the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.”

As believers, we should only boast in Christ and what he has done for us (Galatians 6:14). Jesus, himself, was the very opposite of prideful. He was humble. He put aside himself and out of love served.  My Bible went further in depth to explain it this way, “If even he, God in the flesh, is willing to serve, we his followers must also be servants, willing to serve in any way that glorifies God.” 

We can show God's love through serving others. The story is not just about washing someone's feet, it is about placing others above yourself, laying down pride, loving sacrifically. Whether it is inside my home (where it begins) or outside of my home, I am called as a believer to serve others. Love, himself, served.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his corss and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?'” Matthew 16:24-26

Broken

It is almost December and in our home the preparations for celebrating the birth of our Savior have begun with decorating. I do love decorating during special seasons of the year, but in all honesty I can't take too much clutter for too long. As I pull out the boxes of decorations each year for Christmas I tend to pick and choose what I want to use that year. And then pack away or part with the rest. Of course there are those special decorations that I hope to keep and display every year. Little did I know that this year, I would not have to choose anything to purge, instead, several decorations would break, unrepairable, making it easier to part with them.

It began with the ornaments. My daughter, nearly three, was a great help with the task of decorating the tree this year. It was a sweet time together, as her little brother napped, for us to listen to Christmas music and for me to teach her how to hang the ornaments. We were not too far into decorating when I heard the first shatter... it was a glass ball my husband and I had bought on a special trip around the time of our first wedding anniversary. “Oh no!” my voice rang as I turned to see the shattered ball and pick up the pieces. As I held them in my hand I couldn't think of how it would be possible to piece it back together. It was so broken. I even had a flashback of one Christmas as a child when our tree fell over and my mom lost so many of her special ornaments. I can still see her crying beneath the tree as she gathered the pieces of a collection from many years of sweet memories. I haven't collected many sweet ornaments handcrafted by my children's little hands yet, but O how I can imagine her heartache that day. I'm only a few years into being a mommy, so we are still dealing mostly with glittery balls and plastic snowflakes... nothing serious yet. “It's just an ornament.” I reminded myself. And turned to my daughter assuring her it was an accident and no big deal. Then I tossed it.

And, yes, as the day went on there were a couple more ornaments and a beautiful angel with broken wings whose fate was the same. There was also a small tree in a clay pot that bit the dust while I was away and the kids were playing with dad. In retrospect, it really was in a bad, unrealistic location with two sets of feet always swiftly running by the table I sat it on. When I came home Ken had laid it with the rest of our collection of broken decorations on the kitchen counter. We had quite an impressive collection! He had pieced it and the others back together with glue while I was gone. It was his sweet way of trying to fix it and I really appreciated his love and thoughtfulness in that. But when we examined the finished product together... we laughed! It was comical that way the cracks and imperfections were so visible with glue seeping through. Although I cherished his attempt, it too was beyond repair.

And so, as I sit staring at the collection of broken things on my kitchen counter with their cracks and flimsy attempts to be made whole again it is all too clear what God is teaching me in this moment. I was broken. A mess. In need of a Savior. Needing to be pieced back together. Needing forgiveness and restoration.

And there was Jesus.

Christmas is not about pretty decorations or stressing myself over buying the perfect gifts. Decorations and gifts aren't bad, but should simply add to the season. Instead, Christmas is about the gift God gave us when Christ was born. The gift of a Savior. God sent his son, Jesus, into a broken world, to a broken people so that we could receive the gift of forgiveness, be made whole by Him and in Him and be able to fellowship with God both now and for eternity.

Zacchaeus, a chief tax collector and wealthy man, was curious about Jesus. He quickly came down from a tree (that he climbed hoping to see Jesus) when the Lord called out to him, by name, and he gladly welcomed the Lord into his home. He knew he was broken, sin in his life, and so he joyfully opened his home to the Lord because he knew who Jesus was. He knew Jesus loved him despite his sin and he knew he was the Messiah. And because he knew he was the Savior, he received him to lodge not only in his house but also in his heart. And it is in this story, that Jesus tells his purpose in coming into a broken world:

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.” Luke 19:10

Broken... that was me before I came to know the love of Christ. Just like trying to piece my silly little decorations back together I can exhaust all efforts in trying to put myself back together. None will do justice. In fact, I sometimes laugh at how pitiful it turns out when I try to do it on my own. Instead, I can bow before a Savior who heals brokenness in the most complete way... leaving no staggering edges or cracked seams, but wholly fills me and washes away all sin and blemish. I am blameless, spotless in the eyes of my Savior. That is his work in me, not my own. And I pray my focus during Christmas will be to bow before, adore and praise the Son of Man who came to seek and save me... and you.

I love the words to this song. It is the cry of my heart this Christmas season.

O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining, 


It is the night of the dear Savior's birth. 


Long lay the world in sin and error pining. 


Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.


A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, 
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. 


Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! 


O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

Truly He taught us to love one another, 


His law is love and His gospel is peace. 


Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. 


And in his name all oppression shall cease. 


Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, 


Let all within us praise His holy name. 


Christ is the Lord! O Praise His name forever.


His power and glory ever more proclaim! 

Loving God with ALL Your Heart

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. ~ Luke 10:27

When I first shared this verse with Nella we talked about each "part" of us that is instructed to love God… our heart, our soul, our strength, and our minds.  I love the way The Message says it, "all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence.  What does it mean to love God with all of these things?  My first thought of the heart is how it is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9).  I also think about how our words, what comes out of our mouths, and all we do reveals the condition of our heart (Luke 6:45), which if we think about what we say and do sometimes, it seems much less than honorable before God.  Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts (above all else) because it is the wellspring of life.  Our hearts can be the storehouse of good, but also of evil.  They can be filled with light, peace, love and compassion; but also calloused, dulled and far from God.  The good news, however, is the solution provided through Christ to our "heart problem".  If we are going to love the Lord our God with all our heart, we first need Christ to change our heart!  This has had a great impact on how we view the disciplining of our children.  Discipline should be centered on more than just changing the behavior… it should be centered around leading our children to the cross, where there is change in the heart.  Tedd Tripp, author of Shepherding A Child's Heart, says it like this:

"You see, then, how heart attitudes direct behavior.  It is always true.  All behavior is linked to some attitude of the heart.  Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart.  This understanding does marvelous things for discipline.  It makes the heart the issue, not just the behavior.  It focuses correction on deeper things than changed behavior.  The point of confrontation is what is occurring in the heart.  Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping them to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed.  That leads to the cross of Christ.  It underscores the need for a Savior.  It provides opportunities to show the glories of God, who sent His Son to change hearts and free people enslaved to sin."

I see the link between the attitude of my heart and my behavior so clearly in my own life.  And I am beyond words, grateful for the meaning of the cross to my life.  And so, Paul's prayer for the church of Ephesus in Ephesians 3:16-18 is my greatest prayer for my children: "I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.  Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.  Your roots will grown down into God's love and keep you strong.  And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love it."  

God, you are so gracious to me.  I am so unworthy of the great depths of your love for me, yet I am called your own, your daughter.  Thank you.

Sharing is a Sacrifice

Do no forget to do good to others and to SHARE what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.  Hebrews 13:16

My oldest sister and her crew of three little ones will be filling our tiny home to the brim this coming week!  We will be going from "tiny home, BIG love" to "MEGA love"!  I am so excited about squeezing in together.  Our family is close!  We love being together and relishing every sweet minute of time God gives us.  I am looking forward to time with my sister, nieces and nephew…. letting the kids play, sounds of laughter (and crying, without a doubt), long talks with my big sister about life and the Lord.  There is little else in the world that brings me more pleasure than time with the ones I love!   Yes, there will be a lot of fun, but one thing is for sure…. there will be some cousin "sharing" issues.  And it's safe to say, most of them will have my two year old in the center of the fuss.  

"What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine."  Sound familiar?  Maybe you've heard it used by a woman directed toward her husband (in a joking way, of course).  Well, I have discovered that this is also the mentality of a toddler.  Teaching your little one to share is a tough task.  You talk about it with her and practice it together in your home, but when you are at your play date and it's time to put it into practice in the "toddler real world" it all flies out the window!  So when I found this week's verse in the Bible, it was ground-breaking!  The Bible says to share!  This is one of those treasures in Scripture that I could not have come across at a better time.  This is a great week to learn this verse and have it on our hearts and minds!

But while teaching your child to share is a tough task, I think it is a great task for us to learn as adults.  No matter how "spiritual" or "good" we may think we are (which, we truly are neither)… by nature we are totally selfish.  I openly admit that about myself.  There are just certain things I have a hard time sharing.  For example…. ice cream.  Long story, short version:  I selfishly ate the rest of the ice cream one night when Ken had already said he wanted some.  It was totally wrong of me.  All I could say for myself was that once I started eating it, I couldn't stop… it was so yummy!  Sorry babe!  That is a silly example, but if we really think about it, it is not always easy to do good for  others or to share the things we love the most.  It is most difficult when there is a cost involved, a personal inconvenience, when it isn't comfortable, or especially when it involves giving up something we feel entitled to.  In Hebrews 13:16 the Lord is telling us that doing good and sharing is a sacrifice.  A sacrifice never came without a cost…. something has to be given up in order to sacrifice.  There is a cost in putting others before yourself.  And the cost is your selfishness.

If you are a believer in Christ, verse 15 comes with great news!  It says that we offer God sacrifices of praise, not through our own power, but "through Jesus".  It is something we can not do on our own.  It is not something always natural for our children that they will always do on their own.  But through Christ we can!  I am excited to teach my daughter and nieces this sweet truth… that sharing and doing good makes God smile AND when it is not easy to do it on our own, we can rely on Him!  

Little Ears

Lately it has been pressed on my heart that my little ones are listening and watching all I say and do.  To think back on your words and tone throughout the day, a lot of truth can be revealed.  What is your attitude towards your husband?  your children?  meeting the needs of others?  Sometimes mine really stinks!  And when it stinks, it also weighs me down.  Anytime I've lost all patience or feel angry, it is an awful feeling!  And the worst part is how it permeates throughout our whole home, changing the tone and moods of all of us.  As I've thought about how infectious my bad attitude is, I've come to admit that my attitude definitely needs some adjusting.  I really struggle with that a lot… a good attitude, patience, understanding, forgiveness.  I want my words to show love, grace and speak His name.  That is one of the main reasons, as I have shared before, for teaching and memorizing Scripture with my family.  The more we learn and store it in our hearts, it is amazing how God brings that up in the right moments.  It is through the Word being alive in us, that the Holy Spirit can overcome our bad attitudes and bring forth sweet words filled with His love, His patience and His heart.  This week's verse is a guard to what we hear.  

"There is no one like you, O Lord,

and there is no God but you,

as we have heard with our own ears."

1 Chronicles 17:20

To even begin and explain the divinity of God, his sovereignty, holiness, omnipotence, self-existence is beyond what I am equipped to do… for that I will refer you to read The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer and, especially, to spend time in the Word.  But, yes, we must teach our little ones that there is no one like our Lord and there is no God but Him!  We have heard this!  We know it is true!  We know he is majestic and powerful… we must pass it on to our children.  Those words should flow from our mouths into their sweet little ears daily.  Let them know however you can that He is great!  When you are in the car together or taking a walk, point out His creation… He made everything, even them!  My favorite Psalm, 139 says: "For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.  I know that full well."  We are wonderfully made because of our Creator… because He is wonderful and there is no one like Him, no God but Him.

I have to ask myself: What am I filling my own ears with?  or even my eyes?  Growing closer with Christ is a transformation, the process of your mind being renewed (Romans 12:2).  If we can pinpoint what is keeping our focus from Him, we should be quick to remove it.  After all, it will overflow from us into the ears of our children.  My prayer for myself (and you) is that I will speak more of the Lord in our home.  That I will tell my children everyday that there is no one like God.  That my lips will praise Him.  That He will be the foundation and center of our lives, first in everything.  That my attitude will be a reflection of the grace and forgiveness I have experienced and received from Him.  And that I will handle every situation with more grace every day as I hide myself more in Him.